When Figures of Speech Collide

Excerpt of conversation between me and my buddy Clayton:

me: whoa dude

what are you up to?

Clayton: in pittsburgh at the CASOS training institute

fucking trainwreck in a handbasket

The many tragedies of life

Gmail chat from Anne to Nicki:
"i have no one to smoke with these days. i could literally freaking pass a drug test right now."

A tragedy indeed. I shall pour some out for you, and by pour some out I mean suck it into my lungs.

Cheese management

"You're really manhandling that brie." - Stephen after Feliz wrestles with excessive wrap on delicious snack.

Women's College?

"My sister went to a women's college, but she's straight." - Guy in my program about his sister who unknowingly had a girlfriend for 5 months.

Leather Pants and Inuendos

"It's good to see you. Last time I saw you I was wearing leather pants, and you were taking them off."

Casey to Feliz, naughty naughty!