Mostly things I would like to forget that I have said.

"I have to get on Mr. Research." - Feliz

"Why didn't you know?" - Claire
"Head injuries." - Feliz

"Rit-ards." - Feliz

My plan to account for Claire's hickies: "You can just tell them that you got attacked by a herd of leaches in your bed, if by leaches you mean Nick, and if by many you mean all of the different people Nick is from second to second, and if by your bed, you mean the college's bed, because we are the college."

"Like babies, you just want to shake them." - Feliz

"Wait, for her cat?" - Feliz
"No, for her tax consultant." - Anne

"Appy gummle rings." - Feliz

"I ain't readin' about no hos!" - Feliz, refusing to read Anne's thesis.

"Cross my palm with silver." - Anne
"If your palms had eyes, they'd need corrective lenses." - Feliz

"Warm...waaaaarmm." - Feliz

"This rabbit is tighter than Fort Knox." - Feliz

Anne on Life

"I don't think you're a coke addict until you can't afford to do as much coke as you want and you go into withdrawal." - Anne

"Now heavy metal seems so chill; it's not till you see what they were wearing..." - Anne

"You have to." - Feliz
"But I can't." - Claire
"You have to." - Feliz
"But I can't." - Claire
"You have to." - Feliz
"But I can't." - Claire
"You have to." - Feliz
"But I can't." - Claire
"You have to." - Feliz
"But I can't." - Claire
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" - Anne

"They don't really have horns do they?" - Anne, thinking that jackalopes existed.

"You already did it whole-assed! He wants an ass and a half!" - Anne re: Feliz's thesis

"That is a fine bottle opener." - Anne
"Bottle opener." - Feliz
"That's what I said." - Anne
"Yes." - Feliz

"Rep-pew-table. I mean rep-u-table." - Anne

"A hick argues" - Proposed correction for Anne's thesis

"I have to give Meredith back her shitty backpack." - Anne

Conversational excerpt between Feliz and Anne:
"You're like a dolphin." - Feliz
"Nuts are weird." - Anne

Margot-isms

"It's like finding your cosmic major." - Margot on love

"She dresses more civilian-ly." - Margot on wardrobe

"I have to pee. Oh, wait, that's your closet." - Margot

"She has eyebrows that could kill your mother." - Margot

Gems from Eva

Y'all better watch your backs now that I have found the senior year quote book! Muahahahahahah.

"Because the garbanzo bean is high." - Eva

"The country of Argentinia." - Eva

oh, it's shawn. i get it.

"is there any particular reason why i'm looking at rimming?"

- re: sita's interesting link to me

i feel bad because i haven't contributed.

"I don't not like her, I just think that she's a shitty person"
Eva re: the Cripple.

It's not that great, I know.

Another Moment from KD

You have child-bearing hips - Alex Volberding

Thank you? - Monika

why i liked working at cooley

so when you get back, is it gonna be on? on like donkey kong?
- micaela

micaela: i have a problem with authority!
ray: yeah, you like sleeping with the enemy.
nicole: i like getting pounded by the enemy.

it's gonna be like a crazy craft-corner. "you have 30 secs to make a bomb out of this panty-liner! and it's no ordinary one, it's for wearing with a thong! go!!"
- jane, re: the new TSA regulations stating that feminine hygiene products must be stored in clear plastic bags.

8/17/06

dedicated to miss aguilera

anne: myspace makes me feel a little dirty
Feliz: it is dirtier than friendster
Feliz: it's like the xtina version of online networking

8/16/06

Colorblind

Anne and Feliz are driving up Indian Hill, picking out the nasty black jellybeans from the bag and throwing them out the window. (Non-seasonal jellybean aquisition courtesy of Leslie).

Anne: Why did you throw that white jellybean out the window?
Feliz: Because I thought it was black.

free spirits

jessicabatke: i was gong to see if we could set up some kind of chat room somewhere
but that is nerdy
and takes a lot of time
and is not spontaneous and free, like our spirits

8/16/06

esses

we are hooliganesses
- feliz, re: her and jess
8/16/06

Nicki Does San Francisco

"Is that guy doing that other guy in the face?" re. little wooden sculpture in bar

A few permanent name candidates

Possible Candidates:

1. Gems from the Silver-tongued

2. Recorded Live at the Tower of Babel

3. Statements You May Wish to Deny Having Made in the Future

4. Proof of the Latent Genius in All of Us (remember that part about realizing you are a latent genius in a child's garden of grass?)

Let's hear what y'all have to say! I will think up some more, but this is just what I came up with in the last 10 minutes so don't judge me too harshly.

Senior Year Quotes Compiled by Kassie, Second Semester

“It’s fiiiiiiine. It’ll be fine.” And “What the fuck is going on?” –themes for the semester

“It’s all hearsay.” –Kassie about her relationship with Jon

“Slut!” –Noah about pregnant women.

“Oh, I’m so pale and romantic and coughing.” –Kassie about Claire, who has consumption.

Cape Horn / gay porn

“Did they wear ear pantyhose?” –Feliz

Claire: “He doesn’t have herpes, it’s genital warts.” Anne: “Cool.”

“I have a thing for pregnant women.” –Meredith

“This is what my grandfather drank right before he died.” –Colin about Pabst Blue Ribbon Light

“That’s a public place. He acknowledged you there.” –Claire about sex in the bathroom

Jon: “This scotch is aged eighteen years.” Noah: “Just like my last girlfriend.”

Alex: “What kind of shirts?” Feliz: “Commemorative t-shirts.”

“40s are great. You may drink too much, but you won’t drink too little.” –Claire

“Well, I think you should keep it elevated.” –Anne about Feliz’s injured face

“Why don’t you get the pretzel rods?” and “I gave Josh saran-wrap head.” –Feliz, causing us to go into a laughing fit in the Coop store.

Feliz: “For $30,000, you could get 300 strippers.” Margot: “Or one really big stripper.”

“I can run the fastest, I can think the fastest, I can pee the fastest, and don’t you forget it.” –Feliz in the bathroom at Table Manners.

“Drinking increases my need for beef.” –Erin

“I heard your friend is a big, cheap…beer-drinking person.” –Jon to Feliz about Hope

“I like my things big.” –Feliz

“You know that dumb girl, the one who’s really smart?” –Claire about Sarah Ball

“Come on, seat us, you bitches!” –Kassie at the Sagehen Café

Feliz: “Was it a little brown dog?” Michael: “Did you see a little brown dog?”

A typical conversation at KD: Feliz: “Those fuckin’ Chileans, man.” Alex: “Chileans? Where?” Feliz: “In Chile.”

Jon: “Are you attracted to Patty?” Pete: “I’m attracted to her bubble butt.”

“I have a waist and hips. I could bear children.” –Jon

“I don’t call, I don’t write, I don’t care.” –Feliz about guys.

“That’s one step away from having sex with men for money.” –Feliz about the girl who had her thong and half her butt showing at KD.

“Sometimes when I see Jon in the daylight I get confused. I’m like, who is that person?” –Kassie to Monika at lunch in the greenhouse.

Jon: “You know when you say something you mean, you know?” Pete: “I think that’s the vaguest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Want to see my ‘I’m hot and dumb’ look?” –Kassie at the Blackwatch

“Whatever. I have two intellectual feet on him.” –Margot about the tall Pitzer guy.

“My bronchitis is like terrorism. I can’t let it change my daily life.” –Alex, explaining why he has been smoking even more cigarettes than usual despite his hacking cough.

“I’ve always wanted to start a phone sex hotline for pedophiles. Hi, I’m really hot right now.” –Becky in her best baby voice.

“Wow, that was a really long game of chess.” –Erin to Chris after he didn’t call her.

“My nose is a cavern of death.” –Jon

“I’m trying to suck the liquid out of my pants.” –Gretchen

“F.E.E.—Fried Egg Erickson.” –the name of Kassie and Jon’s offspring according to Feliz and Alex.

“So how does Tim lay the pipe?” –Alex to a shocked Monika.

“It’s ok to love the world. It’s our home.” –Feliz

Monika: “Jon, your girlfriend is a skinny-ass biatch.” Jon: “I like it.” Pete: “I’ll take it.” (drunk conversation getting in the car after staying at the Blackwatch until it closed).

“I was about to go home. Then Jon sat on me and poured beer in my mouth.” –Feliz (this is not an exaggeration).

“Do we have to join the team?” –Feliz

Kassie: “Sometimes you remind me of a bird.” Jon: “Sometimes I remind myself of a bird.”

Senior Year Quotes Compiled by Kassie, First Semester

She sent these to me in two word files. Talk about comittment to the cause. Fine job Kassie, way to prioritize: thesis vs. timely quote compilation. Well, I think we all know which work will be most often read. Note that this is missing all of the rugby and Anne quotes!

“Well, these things happen” – the theme for this semester

"We must not go home singlehandedly."—Feliz on the Monday night (end of dry week)

“Why haven’t they found a way to magnify smell?” –Margot on the first Saturday after dry week ended.

“I have no problem corrupting young boys.” –Feliz. Claire and Feliz’s room is the corrupter of young boys suite. They’re building on an extra room for me.

“I’m becoming more morally erect.” –Feliz

“I would trade two nights of ass for like, my soul.” –Monika

"I wish you had ears."- Feliz, to Claire

Feliz: “I’ve never had sex with anyone at Pomona.” Kassie: Screech!

"I come from the I don't want that in my mouth planet." –Kassie

“Look how many books I have. I’m so smart.” –Claire

“Punctuation is a personal choice.” –Margot

“Omigod, like scandal to the third power!” –Erin about Dave, Joanna, and Margot

“Knot theory…the theory of what is not.” –Feliz

“Think of this as a 60 to 80 year hiatus in our relationship.” –Kyle

"I would kill a man for a very small slice of pepperoni pizza."—Feliz, on a Monday night when both of us drank boxed wine and ate pumpkins until 3 in the morning.

“Dude, you made out with Dusty Baker. I’m going to make you a shirt.” –Feliz

"I can't handle Icehouse. The impurities go straight to my brain." –Jon

“You were like a blind little animal.” –Feliz, regarding my state that Saturday night when I smoked a ridiculous amount of weed first with Claire and then Malcom.

“These people are hideous!” –Claire about Pomona freshmen

“I just want an orgasm from a boy, not from myself.” –Andrea, on the Saturday night of Oktoberfest and the scavenger hunt when we were all on the prowl.

"I could be Kassie. Or I could be Monika. Hold on....I AM Monika." –Monika. It was a Wednesday night, as usual.

“I think my head would explode if we went on a double date” –Kassie regarding the possibility of going out with Jon and Feliz and Pete.

“What, you have to wait like 12 hours?” –Jasper on Harwood Halloween, asking why Feliz wasn’t drinking after getting a concussion at 10 in the morning.

“I like my men like my tea: hot and weak.” –Feliz and Monika

“It’s raining? But it was so dry in your room.” –Kassie to Feliz on Homecoming weekend when we dealt with the monsoon by staying in Feliz’s room under the covers.

“I think you should branch out. And by branch out I mean run like hell.” –Feliz’s advice

“I think we wore clothes like twice freshmen year.” --Feliz, remembering when we would lie out in our bikinis on Walker Beach after brunch until dinner and then go out.

“I’m not going to make you smoke. I’m going to hold this bong to your face until you have to fuckin’ breathe.” –Colleen

“It was my greatest falldown.” –Feliz

“You can lead a horse to booze, but you can’t make it leave.” –Margot

“I thought that’s what you wanted.” –Margot, after she poured a beer on a dancing Feliz.

Anne: “What does Margot do all day?” Feliz: “She margots around in her room.”

“Jon has a lot of hard salami.” - Feliz

“Watch my gag reflex, cowboy.” –Feliz to a snow pea. We went into hysterics at Thai BBQ for like 10 minutes over the last one.

“Horizontality is the root of all evil.” –Feliz after hearing about why I was late getting ready for the last KD of the semester.

“He took away the only thing I’ve ever loved.” –Feliz, after Ben was at KD.

“We don’t need a bag. Just throw them in our mouths.” –Alex Volberding, who was really excited about Jalapeno poppers at the Jack-in-the-Box drive-thru.

“I know people on south campus, just not in the Biblical sense.” --Feliz

“I’d be willing to dip my balls in that salsa.” And “I could make a better burger with my buttcheeks.” --Taylor during our late night conversation about fast food in Jon’s room.

“You know when you’re a baby and your mom burps you and you go up and down?….” –Claire telling us her burping sex story

“Don’t be afraid. I’m afraid.” –Margot in the parking lot of Friar Tuck’s

“If you hook up with him, I’ll make you a shirt that says ‘I made out with Dusty Baker’ and I’ll make all of us a shirt that says ‘My friend made out with Dusty Baker’. That’s a promise.” –Monika at Friar Tuck’s.

F: “Now you’re one degree of separation away from Susie.” K: “And a sheep.” F: “Hey, me, too. Probably the same sheep.”

“Like babies…you just want to shake them.” --Feliz

Claire: “This feels like a worm.” Feliz: “What else feels like a worm?” Claire: “Penises.” Feliz: “I was talking about macaroni.”

“My fridgamarator has alcamahol.” --Erin on the last day of classes.

“I got it from a guy who was markedly uncool.” –Feliz about her beer.

Feliz: “Something smells really bad.” Kassie: “Like the trash!” (While standing right next to the trashcan near Claire and Feliz's room.)

“I’ve got it all.” --Jon, regarding his cup o’ noodles AND wonton

“I’m just going to be a spectator, I’m not going to look.” –Kassie

“There’s this game…it’s kind of a mix between charades and taboo…it’s called shaboo.”—Anne

“I’m living the life that I only dreamed about as a fourteen-year-old.” –Jim

“I just think it’s wrong to touch your dog…in that way.” –Aidan

“He’s got a lot of junk in the trunk, except his trunk is in the front.” –Feliz

“I’ve been trying to go to Wal-Mart for the past three weeks, but I always end up at the liquor store.” –Jon

“She stayed with me when I had mono…I’m stuck with her now.” –Alex Volberding

Alex: “I don’t think you should ever have children, Becky.” Becky: “I would be a good mother in another country if I had a husband to beat me.”

“Feliz, what can I GET you?” –Kassie

“Good catch, me.” –Feliz

“I’m so oversaturated with sex I just can’t take it anymore.” –Kassie

“Oh no, now I really can’t take off my sweater.” –Margot, as she realizes she has a 40 duct-taped to her hand.

“Hey guys, look at this. It’s disgusting.” –Jasper (takes off pants)

I am not sure these two are quotes, but they are so memorable that they had to be included. They are two actual excuses from that semester. I bet we can all guess which goes with whose. Thinking about it, I can post a picture of the former...but it's not me!

“I can’t turn in my french paper because it has cum on it” and “I couldn’t tutor your child because I was tripping on shrooms in the desert”

Alumni Weekend 2006

I found these in my own electronic archives. It's a good thing we wrote them down because I for one am sure I can't remember at least part of at least one of those evenings. I think my personal favorite is the one from Liz because she captures the aura of the weekend with her quote.


"I wish that was 21 Choices... I wish 21 Choices was in my mouth." - Kassie

Alex: "What flavor is it?"
Anne: "White."
Alex: "Vanilla?"
Anne: "Yeah, vanilla."

"You have to understand that I'm in a war against celibacy... Nicki 1, celibacy 0." - Nicki

"Do they have cowboy ass sex near the sheep?" - Nicki

"We probably have different bodies." - Nicki

"For 'til how when?" - Nicki

"One day she is going to realize that God is not going to give her cunnilingus." -Nicki, re: Ali

"I am feeling renoved." - Feliz

"How many stones?" -?
"One fewer than the number of birds." - Feliz

"Sure, I'll watch your kid. I'll be wasted. It's your call." - Liz

"If one of you was pregnant, I'd be excited." -Jon

The Nectar of the Gods

Feliz: i think coke is my favorite color.

8/14/06

The Meta-Quote Book

me: hahahahahah
that's going in the proverbial book
Feliz: which?
and do you have a book?!??!
that would be aswesome if you have one now
me: the quote book, that doesn't really exist, but exists in our minds

now it exists in cyberspace.