"You Don't Come From Honest People"

Random couple standing on corner in Brooklyn:

Him: “Of course I don’t care about you. I don’t care about anyone but myself.”
Her: “That’s because you’re a self-absorbed prick. It’s the way you were raised. You don’t come from honest people.”

We crossed the street and, looking back, saw the man start running away. She shouted, "You have no where to go!" before walking after him, then walking faster, then running.

Happy McPanzerville

Liz has a habit of sleeping with Kassie's friends who have herpes - Monika

Was his ex-girlfriend very short? - Feliz to Kassie about her fiance hiding pics of sketchy activity on top of the fridge.

Arapahoe . . . I had sex with someone who was Araphaoe - Kassie

Every pimp, whore and soccer mom has a tattoo - Feliz's uncle Pete at family dinner.

Who married that guy? Good job. - Unknown

No one's going to die if we eat the corn. - either Sutter or Sarah Todd

There are more, but i think the paper is in posession of the mini-Panzer.

Apples to Apples

The card game Apples to Apples is a wild source of language related entertainment. The goal of the game is to match a noun card from the player's hand to the dealt adjective card. After playing at Stinson with Anne, Ariel and Tina, these sparkling gems tumbled from our inebriated mouths.

Anne: Elephants have big ears and a trunk. They're neat!
Nicki: Tiger Woods has big ears!
Ariel: And a trunk.

Anne: Dandruff is super natural.

Nicki: That salsa is spicy.
Anne: Spicy like Demi Moore!