Feliz, the sage

Feliz on losers slinking back: "He may attempt, but you are no spare tire for his emotional jalopy."

Feliz on restraint: "Any emotional investment made in him will not return anything other than dividends of regret."

Feliz on diplomacy: "I'd want to go over there, slap him with my leather glove, and state my grievances."

Feliz on beauty: "His face is hideous to me now that i know the contents of his soul."

Feliz on threats: “We do not negotiate with emotional terrorists.”

Riveted

Nicki, on her article draft: "I have no doubt you will be riveted."

Feliz: "Not literally, I hope. I'd prefer to be bedazzled if it comes to that."

Alumni Weekend 09 Quotes

the couch needs protection- monika, regarding a potential fluid transaction on her roomie's furniture.
expert yachtsman. - nicki, regarding an acquaintance's remark about himself after talk of her new sailboat.
i'm just quoting the pinata. - nicki, after feliz told her about a t shirt with a pinata on it saying, "i'd hit that."
when lips are dry, doves cry.- nicki
greasy lips sink ships. - feliz
old fags' tale- nicki dismissing alfie's beliefs on certain intimate activites.
i will wave my long, luxurious toes at you. - feliz
there's just no way to make the font big enough. - feliz, regarding nicki's potential middle finer tattoo reading "fuck that noise."
i look like ray charles. - feliz, regarding her inability to take off her sunglasses during the wine tasting in frary.
you could look up nautical twilight or something. but i don't think it would help.- feliz
i'm sort of like the witch in hansel and gretel. i fatten em up. - jon, regarding his girlfriends.
wait, i'm taking tips on gangster from a british man? - feliz

Portugal 09

"This shits are no cool." -Nicki, said after a long night on the town and a conference presentation.

Feliz on Grocery Shopping

Text message received by Nicki, from Feliz, after Nicki called Feliz and Feliz didn't answer: "In Hobbesian war for resources at Trader Joe's. Call u soon."

Fortunately, she lived through the experience and called Nicki back :)

A Santa Barbara Three-some

Anne and Feliz visited Nicki in Santa Barbara. Of course, hilarity and tongue-jems tumbled forth...

"Anne, let's take out our contacts and get drunk."
-- Feliz to Anne, over french fries and spiked milk shakes while visiting Nicki


Feliz: Why do you have two hair brushes?
Anne: This one is bristly and is better for controlling my hair.

Feliz: Oh, like a cat's tongue.


Nicki: He was a little sharp dressed Mexican leprechaun!
Feliz: A Mexi-chaun.

Datin' n' Droolin'

feliz: yeah dude, what was the deal with him?
such a freak show
and that he was dating that girl who looked like his little bro?
evelyn: lmao
wtf!
lmao
feliz: you should not date a girl who looks like she could be your 11 year old brother.
evelyn: lmao
stopppppppppppp!
me: i mean, it seems liek a good rule of thumb
evelyn: i was laughing so hard i literally drooled on myself while i was rolling around on the floor.
i had my mouth open cracking the hell up and then i saw a wet spot on my sleeve!
feliz: HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Cultivation is tiring

I am back to going to bed at 8:30 these days. That's likely to continue until this here placenta is grown.

-- My friend Mary, on the exhaustion of early pregnancy.

Conversational Excerpt, Part Halloween 3

Nicki: I'm gonna get the manual for the food processor. And a tissue!
Feliz: Will you get me some socks?
Nicki: Yes! ...[hustles to bedroom]
What did I come in here for?
Feliz: Socks! [walking in]
Nicki: No, what did I come in here for?
Feliz: The manual to the colander!
Nicki: Hah ahahha hahahahahahahaha.